Sunday, 8 April 2012

Celebrity Revenge!

When I read that Michelle Mone had keyed her estranged husband's car after finding out he was having a fling with an employee, I nearly spat my coffee out. Ok, I'm not (openly) condoning malicious damage but I did have a "you go girl!" moment. William Congreve got it right when he said "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned" (do you like at literary titbit there? It's from The Mourning Bride)

Anyway, I've been painting my youngest son's room this weekend, so have had plenty of time to muse, and I started thinking about other celebrity acts of jealousy and revenge.

1) When Kelly Jones (Stereophonics) found his friend Julian had started dating his ex-fiancee, Emma, a month after they had broken up, he set about trashing Julian's car with a metal pole.

2) Staying with the car theme, rumour has it that Naya Rivera allegedy egged and keyed fellow Glee castmate, Mark Salling's, car in a fit of jealous rage.

3) Songwriters have a perfect outlet for their jealousy. Who can forget Justin Timberlake's Cry Me A River, and the accompanying video allegedly (I have to find another word for that) portraying his ex, Britney Spears. Not only has Adele made a fortune out of singing about her exes, she has the added pleasure of knowing that they will hear her doing so every time they turn on the radio. And who can forget Alanis Morissette's agnsty 1995 album, Jagged Little Pill. Apparently You Oughta Know was written about Dave Coulier, who is 15 years her senior and should have know better than to jilt a 21 year old woman with a pen and a good set of lungs.

4) Princess Diana's 1995 interview with the BBC was a strong kick in the teeth to her estranged husband's public admission of infidelity. She used the interview as a way of painting her ex as a total bastard, as well as sticking the knife into her in-laws.

5) Hayley Shaw sold her husband's £25,000 Lotus Esprit for 50p on eBay, after Tim Shaw, a DJ, told Jodie Marsh live on air that he would leave his family for her. Apparently it was just one in a long line of grievances she had about his treatment of her during their marriage.

6)  Money Talks: Colleen Rooney, Cynthia Rodriguez (A-Rod), and Satsuki Mitchell (Daniel Craig) all apparently spent up big on their ex's credit cards in retaliation for supposed infedility.

7) Of course, if we're talking money then forget about acting in the heat of the moment, and get yourself a kick ass lawyer. These ex's prove that revenge really is a dish best served cold, with the world's most expensive divorce settlements. Soraya Khashoggi received an estimated £550 million (US$874 million) when she divorced Adnan Khashoggi. Robyn Gibson was paid £267 million (US$425 million) when she divorced Mel, after 26 years of marriage and 7 children. Madonna apparently paid Guy Ritchie £57 million (US$90 million) when their marriage ended. Elin Nordegren, who is apparently pretty handy with a golf club, was expected to receive £473 million (US$750 million) in payout from Tiger Woods, but apparently the real figure was closer to £63 million (US$100 million).

Have you ever done anything you regret (or not) in retaliation for something?