When does Optimism become Stupidity?

Congratulations to Kate Winslet and Ned Rocknroll who have recently got married. It's her third trip down the aisle and I wish that she wasn't so secretive about it because I would love to see her wedding dress. Kate is my only girl crush - I would be delighted if I looked like her. I am fairly sure I've posted about my admiration for the way she always looks spectacular on the red-carpet and pretty stylish day-to-day as well. I reckon she wore something in heavy oyster silk and 1930s inspired like the woman in this gorgeous 1930s inspired wedding or this stunning original

Photo from http://www.weddingblogdesigner.com

I'm 18 months older than Kate, married at 25 and have just celebrated my 13th wedding anniversary, so to have been married 3 times by now seems a little exhausting, however I sincerely wish her well. Like Elizabeth Taylor (8 times), Zsa Zsa Gabor (9 times), Mickey Rooney (8 times), and countless others with multiple marriages under their belt I admire their romantic enthusiasm. A bad marriage could (ironically) put someone off matrimony for life but Kate and others jump in with both feet, believing that a failed marriage or a romance that has run its course doesn't mean they are unlovable or undeserving of happiness, just that they are with the wrong person.

Kate has been getting a fair amount of stick in readers' comments, as does Ulrika Jonsson (4 children with 4 different fathers) at times, with people calling them stupid, selfish (not thinking of the kids), or weak for constantly needing a man. I do not believe they are any of these things. Their decisions have not been easy and both keep their children out of the limelight therefore showing consideration for their childrens' wellbeing. I think Kate and her ilk are optimistic and I'd like that, should my marriage end, I have their hope, openness to love and enthusiasm that will allow me to find another partner.

What are your thoughts? Leave me a comment and if you know what her dress looked like please share!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

I had to laugh (on the inside - it tickles!) this week, when a friend was surprised my husband had gone on holiday with his friends. She was surprised that I would "let him" and wondered if I trusted him. It made me a little sad to hear her talk like that. She is single at the moment, but I think it spoke volumes about her past relationship. For the record, he's gone somewhere in the French Alps to spend the day going up the mountain on a chairlift, and down it on a bike that's nearly as big as our car. I suspect there is more to it than that, but that's all I retain. It gets a bit like Peanuts adult talk to me, except Linus actually understands what the teacher is saying. Anyway, I digress... (for a change!)

My point is, it never even crossed my mind not to "let" my husband go on holiday. Of course we discussed it and he fit it in around what the rest of the family had going on, but it's not like he needs "permission". We are a couple, not co-joined twins. I don't share his interested in all things bike related, and he doesn't get Pinterest. And as for not trusting him, well, except for one or two instances of hysterical paranoia when pregnant, he's never given me any reason to suspect his attention is wandering.

The first two nights he was away were lovely. I slept star-fish in the bed and enjoyed watching as much Extreme Makeover Home Edition as I liked. Now I miss him and am starting to look forward to his return. For us, time apart works because our interests are so different. He gets time doing what he wants, which isn't family friendly while the boys are too young to participate, and we all enjoy our family holidays more because he's already had his fix.It happens a couple of times a year and only lack of funds or people to go with would stop it.

I really hope this post isn't the kiss of death and I'm all Tom Cruise "so lucky to be married to him" while he's all "irreconcilable differences", but if any woman wants to wash his muddy, sweaty bike kit, feed him a tonne of food on demand, and either rub his legs or put up with being woken up when they cramp in the night, I'd be tempted to applaud her commitment (if he wasn't already my husband, of course! Husband-stealing bitch that she is).

Do you enjoy holidays separate from your spouse or partner? Am I in the minority?